Bombshell Blonde
by drakonpride01
Summary: Robin 'borrows' Wally's iPod and downloads a special song. Zatanna walks in and joins the plan. Wally chokes on nothing. Artemis is confused and sleepy. Wally/Artemis. Spitfire. WallArt. w/ a side of Robin/Zatanna or Dick/Zatanna friendship which can also be read as pre-Chalant.


**Yeah, I don't really know what this is. I just heard the song and thought it described Wally's feelings for Artemis kinda perfectly. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the song. All rights go to owners. **

Mount Justice

Friday, 17:43 EDT

RECOGNIZED ZATANNA B-08

Zatanna stepped down from the zeta beam platform, and walked through the Cave, her boots making a soft clacking sound against the ground. There hadn't been any missions today, so the Cave had emptied out a few hours ago. She, M'gann, and Superboy were probably the only ones left. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, she was wrong.

"Robin. What're you doing here?"

The Boy Wonder turned around. "Oh hey, Zee. Didn't hear you come in."

Zatanna chuckled. "Oh I'm not buyin' that. That machine practically shouted my name throughout the entire Cave. Whatcha doin'?"

Robin grinned. "Just helping Wally realize his feelings for Artemis."

The young magician groaned and plopped down on the sofa. "Oh don't even get me started on those two. They are so _oblivious_. Artemis won't even admit she _likes_ Wally."

"KF declared I was crazy for even thinking that he had a crush on Artemis," Robin said, shaking his head.

"M'gann and I were actually thinking up ways to get them together."

"Come up with any good ideas?"

"Other than locking them into a closet together? Not really."

"Artemis would probably break the door down if that happened."

"Yeah. What are you doing with Wally's iPod?"

Robin looked down at his hand. "Oh, this? Well, it's kinda complicated."

"Spill."

"Okay, so. I was just browsing YouTube, listening to random songs-"

"The Boy Wonder browses YouTube in his spare time? Never would've guessed."

"Hey!" Robin pouted.

"Sorry, continue," Zatanna smirked.

"Well, I found the perfect song to describe Wally's feelings toward Artemis. So, I, uh, 'borrowed' Wally's iPod and downloaded the song onto it seventeen times, so he's sure to hear it. At most, it'll knock some sense into him; at the least, it'll make for some great blackmail material."

"Hm. Clever. What's the song?"

Robin handed her the earbuds plugged into the device and pressed play.

Zatanna listened to the full three and a half minutes, then slowly turned around, eyes wide and a smirk playing on her face. "That," she said, "is _perfect_."

Mount Justice

Saturday, 8:27 EDT

RECOGNIZED KID FLASH B-03

Wally zoomed through the Cave, intent on getting to the lounge. He had misplaced his iPod yesterday, and after searching through his entire room at home, concluded that he must have left it at Mount Justice. However, as soon as he had stepped down from the zeta tube platform, he heard Megan's call of, "Cookies are done!" and, obeying the call of his stomach, swerved slightly to land in the kitchen. He promptly stuffed a cookie in his mouth.

"Hey, Megalicious." He greeted the Martian with a grin, collecting a few more cookies to gorge on later. "Your cooking is getting better and better every day!"

M'gann smiled at him. "Thanks, Wally."

He grinned back and turned around, remembering the reason why he had come to Mount Justice so early in the first place. The lounge was right next to the kitchen, after all. And there, sitting on the coffee table, was his beloved iPod.

"Yes!" The speedster cheered, and zoomed over to plop down on the couch, grabbing the device along the way. Unfortunately, he did not notice the irate, blonde archer who had practically collapsed on the couch earlier, until he sat down next to her. And by next to her, I mean almost in her lap. In fact, the force of his sitting down caused the tired Artemis to slump heavily onto the redhead. Which would've made for quite an awkward situation if Artemis was fully awake. She wasn't.

After a few seconds, Artemis realized who it was and shoved herself away. "Get _offa_ me, Baywatch," she mumbled sleepily.

For a few milliseconds, Wally debated on whether he should tell her that _she_ was actually the one who had been leaning on _him_, then decided it wouldn't be worth it. He was going to get his quality music time, dammit! He spent a few seconds running around the kitchen gathering an array of soft foods to feast on (crunchy foods crunched in his mouth and made it hard to hear the music), before again plopping down on the couch, this time far away from the blonde archer who looked like she had gone back to sleep.

Artemis was actually not asleep, but merely thinking...with her eyes closed. Her mom had forced her out of her bed and out of the house that particular morning, saying that she needed to spend some more time with her teammates. She had stumbled into Mount Justice via zeta beam, and collapsed on the sofa, sleeping for a good half hour before Kid Idiot had ruined it. She decided to chew him out later.

Meanwhile, KF was bopping his head along to music and consuming insane amounts of red Jell-O, when, suddenly, _**the song**_ came on. It started out innocently enough. Wally didn't recognize it, but he had a lot of songs on his iPod. Besides, it had a good beat.

_That blonde, she's a bomb, she's an atom bomb_

_Rigged up and ready to drop!_

_Bad news, I'm a fuse, and I've met my match_

_So stand back, it's about to go off!_

By this time, Wally was frowning a little. His spoonful of Jell-O stopped halfway to his mouth.

_That vixen, she's a master of disguise!_

_I see danger, when I look in her eyes._

_She's so foxy, she could lead to my demise_

_So I'm running, 'cause I've run out of time_

_She's a bombshell blonde, wired up to detonate!_

_I'm James Bond, live to die another day!_

_Bombshell blonde, high explosive dynamite!_

_She's all I want so I, I'm on a mission tonight!_

Wally started choking. On what, he didn't know, because the spoonful of Jell-O had not made it to his mouth.

_Her love is a drug laced with ecstasy,_

_And her charm is spiked with a spell._

_A hot mess in a dress gets the best of me._

_She's ice cold, but she's making me melt!_

_That vixen, she's a master of disguise!_

_I see danger, when I look in her eyes_

_She's so foxy, she could lead to my demise_

_So I'm running, 'cause I've run out of time_

_She's a bombshell blonde, wired up to detonate!_

_I'm James Bond, live to die another day!_

_Bombshell blonde, high explosive dynamite!_

_She's all I want so I, I'm on a mission tonight!_

By this part, Wally's choking had gotten Artemis to open her eyes and she looked at him in askance, with maybe a hint of worry mixed in.

_That vixen, she's a master of disguise!_

_I see danger, when I look in her eyes_

_She's so foxy, she could lead to my demise_

_So I'm running, 'cause I've run out of time_

_She's a bombshell blonde, wired up to detonate!_

_I'm James Bond, live to die another day!_

_Bombshell blonde, high explosive dynamite!_

_She's all I want so I, I'm on a mission tonight!_

"Wally? Are you okay?" Artemis questioned, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Wally stopped choking, and looked up at the _bombshell blonde _herself, shocked. Oh no. He immediately sped out of the lounge, iPod in hand, to who knows where, because he _could not_ let Artemis know what he had been listening to. _Absolutely not_.

Artemis was puzzled. "What's gotten into _him_?" she muttered to herself. The archer turned around, fully intent on asking M'gann the same question, only to find her clutching her sides in laughter. Robin and Zatanna had informed her on their plans the night before, and she had chosen this specific time to be in the kitchen so she could witness Wally's reaction.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, poor Artemis didn't know that and she kept asking M'gann, "What? What are you laughing at?"

Robin and Zatanna had watched the whole spectacle sitting on the kitchen stools, cloaked in an invisibility spell. It was all they could do to contain their laughter.

"See? Perfect blackmail material," Robin cackled, after Artemis had left. "Got it all recorded."

*******scratches head* **Yeah. I don't know. This was a product of late nights and boring days. The song is Bombshell Blonde by Owl City. Review? 


End file.
